Mixed Emotions
by Ash3
Summary: It's been 6 years since the fated adventure in Gaea. Hitomi's a sucessful buisness woman but, never got over her love for Van. Finally one day she gets the chance go back...
1. Facing the Past

Mixed Emotions   
by,   
Ash C.   
e-mail- ash1107@hotmail.com   
please no flames or spams

Chapter 1: 

It had been six years since Hitomi was on Gaea, four years since Hitomi's bond to Van was suddenly blocked, and not one moment had gone by without Hitomi wondering about Van. She had done fine at first, that is after she came home; her friends were understanding but worried about their silent and sad friend. Hitomi really tried to forget, live her life out. One by one her friends deserted her, no one wanted to hang around someone as depressed as her. The only friends she had left were Yukari and Amano, they were understanding of course, but when they were together...her heart ached for something, someone, who didn't, it seemed, care for her anymore: Van. It was a cold winter that year, and Hitomi found one way out of her life, working. She was at her work from dawn to dusk it seemed. She was very dedicated and hardworking, constantly getting promotions.   
Hitomi drummed her fingers on her desk impatiently.   
"Come on," she thought to herself, "it doesn't take that long to check the file cabinets...". Suddenly, the phone rang. Hitomi swiftly picked it up and said,   
"Hitomi Kanzaki." The person on the other side gave a bubbly reply,   
"Hitomi-san, this is Yukari! Remember you promised to meet me for lunch today!!!"   
"Ahhh, yesss," Hitomi said nervously while running her fingers through her hair. "When and where exactly are we meeting?"   
"Baka! You forgot already?" She giggled, " It's that little cafe you like so much, remember? Oh, and around noon."   
Hitomi glanced up at the clock...it blinked 11:30. Her stomach grumbled, she quickly said to Yukari,   
"I'll take off early and leave right now, okay? Bye" and she hung up the phone. She stood up and stretched for a moment then put on her navy blue parka-like jacket. Glancing out of her office she strolled down the hall and through the exit. The moment she walked outside the wind's cold bite went through the jacket and instinctively she held it closer. The roads were extremely slippery in the large city of Tokyo, which was always over-run with cars and people. She glanced in the store windows as she passed them, pastries, clothing, toys, and stationary. Little angel dolls decorated the stationary store window as she passed by it. Her heart throbbed but she pushed down the memory and tears. She neared the last street and waited for the light to turn red so she could cross. Then suddenly, a single white feather floated down in front of her. She reached up to grab it but it disappeared before she could touch it.   
"Damn," she whispered. "Why are you doing this to me now!?" she screamed inside of her head. While she was in her sub-conscious her conscious seemed to take charge, the light turned red and she started to cross the street. The moment her foot hit the ground she met with an unexpected ice patch...but it seemed the last thing she remembered before blacking out was seeing an oncoming pair of head lights and a column of light engulfing her. 

Van was outside his palace lying in a verdant field of Fanelia while chewing a piece of grass. He stared at the Mystic Moon for a little while before closing his eyes.   
"How is she doing?" he wondered. "Does she have any boyfriends? What is she doing right now?" Four years ago, she had terminated all connections, and he'd felt like an empty husk. 

He had to admit, the connection between them was getting kind of weak, fading in and out when they talked to each other. He wished with all his soul and love that he could see her again, and hold her...this time he wouldn't let go. Just before falling asleep he gazed once more at the mystic moon and smiled a sad longing lover's smile.   
"Aghhh" a high scream woke him up, a blue column was right in front of him he jumped back in surprise. Just as it had arrived the column disappeared and in it's wake it left a person in a bloody crumpled heap, a person that strangely looked like, Hitomi.   
Van gently rolled her over while doing so tried to talk to the frantic and stunned woman in front of him.   
"Hitomi" he said softly, "shh, shh, what's wrong?" She stopped for a moment and for a brief instant recognized him.   
"Van?" she asked. She tried to reach out to him but her face tightened with pain and she screamed again.   
"What's wrong?" he asked again. Hitomi's eyes teared,   
"Van" she cried, "I can't feel my legs, I can't feel them..." she broke down into sobs before fainting dead away. Van looked at her again before breaking into a run… 

Hitomi's opened her eyes to the dimly lit room. She brought her hand up to her head to message her aching temples. While doing so she tried to remember what happened and where she was. She moaned after a while of thinking and guessed it all a dream because, Van, Gaea and Fanelia still seemed like nothing more than a dream. Then she glanced around the room, she apparently was in a very large bed, propped up by what it seemed millions of pillows, and a very expensive room. "Where did I end up now?" she asked herself quietly.   
The door slowly creaked open and out peered a cute face with short pink hair, it also had cat ears.   
"Van-sama" it hissed trying to be quiet " I told you Hitomi-san would be awake"   
"Merle" another voice, male, replied " I told you not to wake her up. Get away from there" With that the cat-woman closed the door and left with a "meow". "Merle, Van" Hitomi thought excitedly, her heart skipped a beat. She tried to get up but for some reason her legs wouldn't work. Then she tried to move around but then the moment she started to put stress on her back a shot of pain screamed up her side and she let out a yelp, then a strangled sob. Hitomi then sighed, leaned her head back and closed her eyes. The door creaked open again and closed but, Hitomi didn't bother to open her eyes. She heard someone softly tread across the floor. A low voice asked her   
"Hitomi are you still awake?" Immediately her eyes fluttered open and focused in on the man standing in front of her. She could tell it was Van, he looked almost exactly the same except older. No more of the thin youth but a well-built man, except he was still wearing the same sleeve-less red top and pale brown pants. Her eyes started tearing up at the sight of him.   
"Is it really you?" she cautiously asked. Van flashed a smile, sat slightly on her bed while picking up one her hands he kissed it gently and cupped it in his large ones.   
"Yes" he replied his eyes shone with a rekindled joy as he spoke again "welcome back Hitomi".   
  
Hitomi gazed into the eyes of Van while he did the same, she felt almost like he was searching her soul. All she knew at the moment was her heart was at peace and she could die happily though, that was the last thing on her mind. A slight, hesitant knock on the door brought them out of their trance. Van sat up and brushed his clothes slightly in a unconscious effort.   
"Yes?" he asked in authoritative tone. The door opened and a older man walked inside.   
"Majesty, we'd like you to see the final touches on the ball's decoration for tonight..." the older man said   
"I will in a while" Van commanded "I'm a bit busy at the moment" he spoke and looked at Hitomi.   
"But, the ball's in 2 hours..." the older man whined   
"I'm sure that since you've done a ball up to my standards once, you can do it again" Van spoke annoyed.   
"Yes, Sire" the older man replied in a submissive tone, bowed and left, closing the door with small "click".   
Hitomi looked at Van, he was now acting like someone she never knew. The old Van would have never displayed such authority over someone. It almost felt like she was staring at someone she didn't know, almost. She loved him and that was the proof she needed to know it was still Van.   
"So you're having a ball tonight and you didn't invite me?" Hitomi chided while gazing at Van with a sly smile on her face. Van looked back down and smiled for a moment then frowned looking tenderly at her.   
"What's wrong" she asked "I'm not that bad of dancer..." she mumbled to herself.   
"You know you are already invited but, " Van hesitated and looked down on her. Hitomi finally realized what he was prompting, looked down and said a quiet voice,   
"oh, I know, I don't know what came over me....wishful thinking I guess..." The truth hurt and it seemed this was the worst kind. She fought the feeling of crying down and tried not to think of it. The silence between them was unbearable and weighed down harder every second.   
"Do you think?" she asked hopefully "I could at least be with you, and watch you?" she stared into his eyes hopefully. Van knew this was all extremely hard on her and didn't quite know how she would react. He vowed to himself that he would find the best doctors for her, even if it would cost him half his treasury. Her condition had been cured once before but, he wasn't all that sure who cured it. He smiled at her and said,   
"As long as you think you'd be all right, I don't want you hurting yourself"   
"Hurting myself? How could I? With you treating me like a china doll I don't think I would even have to lift my little finger" Hitomi laughed out. Her laughter was fake because she already had one thing hurt, her pride.   
"A 'china-doll'?" He asked in puzzlement   
"Um, a very fragile doll" she replied   
"okay" he chuckled,   
"I better be going" he said after a moment " these people are bound the mess something up..." he muttered while rolling his eyes. Hitomi laughed and then hopefully asked,   
"Will you be back later?"   
"Of course" he answered firmly and then he swiftly bent over her and kissed her on the check,   
"I'm not going to let any of servants touch my girlfriend" he winked and left. Hitomi giggled and waved good-bye as Van left the room. When he was gone she slowly lifted one hand to her face and with a stunned expression, blushed. "The first time he's ever kissed me" she thought to herself. Then she slowly tilted her head back and fell asleep. 

Hitomi woke to Van's voice gently coaxing her to wake up. She giggled and softly sighed,   
"I was afraid that when I woke up this would all be nothing more than a dream, a...illusion."   
Van's eyes shone with the beautiful love he saved just for her, He leaned down and gently embraced, savoring the moment then, reluctantly let he let go. But, planted a kiss on her forehead before leaning back up.   
" Now if this is a dream" he told Hitomi "I never want to wake up"   
She nodded silently while staring at him. Then, as if without warning , he picked her, cradling her in his arms and carried her out of the room.   
"Uh Van?" Hitomi stuttered "where exactly are we going?" He smiled and continued on his way.   
"The Ball, my fair Hitomi" he told her. Her eyes widened at the horror of going to the ball like she currently did.   
"but, but.." she stuttered "you don't expect me to go looking like this?" her voice raising to a dangerous pitch while she gestured to her wrinkled clothing and messed up hair. He stopped, thought for a moment and then turned a sharp corner and took her through the winding hallways of the giant castle. After a few minutes they finally reached a double doored room that was guarded by two guards that bowed as they passed through. The doors opened up to a giant suite that looked so beautiful she was afraid to breathe. From the silk drapes to the grand *king* size bed the room was purely magnificent!   
" Where are we?" Hitomi asked Van curiously as he laid her down on the bed.   
"My room" he calmly replied and smiled to himself as she gawked in suprise. He walked over to the door and whispered something to one of the guards, then the guard ran off.   
"Van? What are you doing" Hitomi asked Van curiously.   
"I'm going to go down to check on the preparations for the ball, and you..." he smiled while Hitomi's eyes widened. "And you are going to get ready while my maids attend to you" Just then a few maids step into the room holding a few dresses and other things she couldn't name. Van started to leave the room when Hitomi called out his name,   
"Van, Thank you" she said while running her fingers through her hair. " I was curious if you had thing like a chair with wheels on it..." Hitomi nervously gulped. Van thought for a moment while Hitomi stared at him, she spoke again,   
"If not it doesn't matter I can..." Van cut her off. "I know exactly what you're talking about. Some of the older people of my court use them when they are too weak to walk around. I'll get one out for you." Hitomi breathed a sigh of relief. Watched silently as Van left the room. The moment he stepped out of the room the maids immediately began their work on her. One combing her hair while other's quickly stripped her down to nothing but her bra and underwear. Hitomi blushed in embarrassment. Silently they did their work and within minutes she was fitted with a beautiful emerald color dress that reached her ankles. The cloth felt like something between silk and velvet. Her hair was decorated with small clips and cloth roses that shimmered when ever she twisted her head. She smiled at them and in a appreciative voice thanked them,   
"You all did such a beautiful job, thank you so much" each of the maids bowed her head and blushed in obvious embarrassment, they were never praised in such a sincere way. They each took a immediate liking to Hitomi and told her how beautiful and kind she was. Then one of the maids said to Hitomi,   
"King Van is probably waiting for you, shall I go get him?" Hitomi smiled nodded. The maid walked to the door and peeked her head out and whispered announced,   
"The Lady is now ready for you Majesty" A sigh of relief was audible heard and the maid returned to Hitomi with Van following close behind. Van's eyes widened in obvious suprise and Van said,   
"Hitomi...you look so...I, mean...you never looked so..." Van struggled with words and Hitomi laughed at the young King's situtation. Her eyes practically radiated at each time he stuttered.   
"Beautiful" he finally finished, "though..." he continued "it's missing one thing" Van stood infront of her and silently put a his hands around her neck then, after moment he took his hands away. He smiled silently to himself while Hitomi looked down to find her old pendant. One of her hands went up to shakily touch it and gaze at it. She looked up at Van and in a shaky voice asked,   
"You kept it?" A small tear slid down her face and Van brushed it away,   
"Of course" he reassured her "I knew I'd see you again one day, you wouldn't look complete without it." She struggled to keep up a shaky smile and reached out for Van's hands. Gently he reached out and captured hers holding them protectively he squeezed them reassuringly.   
"Don't cry" he told her "you look too pretty to have puffy red eyes" Van leaned over and picked her up in her arms, cradling her protectively once again.   
"Come my beautiful, the ball awaits us" Van told her in his gentle voice and off they went, to the ball. 

"Stop" Hitomi said suddenly when they were just outside of the giant room where the ball was being held.   
"What?" Van asked while looking down at Hitomi. She thought carefully for a moment before proceeding,   
"Do, you think you could go in without me? Then after everyone starts dancing I could come in, in the chair?" Hitomi's green eyes pleaded to Van's bronze ones. A puzzled look swept over Van's face and then he asked her,   
"Why?" Hitomi looked distressed for a moment then said,   
"Well,...um..., if I were to go in along with you I would be ashamed and embarrassed, especially if you told everyone who I was." she paused " who would believe the Hitomi who helped save Gaea was nothing more than a cripple in...." Van interrupted her with a stern "shh". Hitomi looked up,   
"What?!" she asked in suprise. Van looked sternly at her and she felt herself slink back into submission.   
"I will not have you or anyone call you that!" He said sternly, almost angrily. Hitomi felt his grip tightening on her and she managed to look down and say a quiet and quick "sorry". Van's eyes softened on her and his gripped relaxed.   
"I promise you" he told her solemnly "I will find some way to heal you, first thing tomorrow I'll have the doctor look at you...maybe it's only temporary" In the background Hitomi could hear the crowd getting restless. She looked up at Van in worry,   
"Your crowd's getting restless" she said softly "just let me down into the chair and I'll join you soon, okay?" she asked. Van hesitantly walked over to a door corner and pulled out a chair that looked exactly like one from Earth except, wood and cloth. He gently set her down. When she was fully situated on the chair she reached out and firmly gripped his hand, causing him to look at her in suprise.   
"I promise I'll be in there shortly...just a little bit after the first dance begins." Van smiled and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.   
"Okay" he told her and left, leaving her all alone to look out upon the ballroom. 

Hitomi didn't know if she was lost in thought or just didn't hear the cat-woman sneak up her but the moment two hands shoot up and covered her eyes, Hitomi was so taken by suprise she sat there, stunned.   
"Hitomi-san...what are you doing?" Merle asked in a curious voice as she slowly took her hands away from Hitomi's face. Merle's eyes got big for a moment then she asked,   
"Hitomi-san are you having anymore of those weird visions?" a big smile broke out on Merle's face and she giggled,   
"You know you always looked so funny when you thought you were alone." Merle clasped her hands together and gazed off into the distance and in a dramatic voice said,   
"Oh why, why do I keep having these Visions?" Hitomi rolled her eyes and dryly laughed trying to change the subject she asked,   
"Merle-san, how are everyone?...Millerna-hime, Allen-san...?" Merle pondered for a moment and her face grew serious.   
"Van-sama didn't tell you...did he?..." Merle asked hesitantly. She hesitantly looked around than grasped Hitomi's chair and slowly wheeled her out to Van.   
"I'll take you to Van-sama while I tell you" Merle said kind of quietly. The music was lively in a quick in the background but Merle seriousness gave Hitomi chills up her spine.   
"Well" Merle began taking in a deep breath "it all started 2 years after you left, Celena started acting strangely and finally one night just disappeared. Some say there have been sightings of Dilandau but, no one's all that sure. We all wonder if it's connected to the assassin that tried to kill Van-sama a few months ago." Hitomi's body jerked the moment Merle mentioned the assassin but Merle proceeded "anyways, Millerna-hime and Dryden-hime got back together around that time and Millerna-hime realized that she actually did love him, and they had a beautiful little girl a 3 years ago and she had a beautiful little boy last year." Merle paused for a moment then went on talking again.   
"and Allen-san? um, yes I remember....Hitomi-san you'll like this one" Merle winked " After about a year of searching for Celena, Allen finally went back to Austria seems to have fallen quite in love with Princess Eries...she also seems to be in love with him also." she giggled. "Allen proposed to her about 3 months ago and the wedding is in about...,um, 2 weeks!" Hitomi laughed for a moment and smiled looking straight up at Merle "that sounds like Allen! Though I think it's kind of funny that he's been in love with each of the Austrian Princess' you'd think their child would be just as ambitious!" Merle giggled in agreement and Hitomi laughed quietly along with her. Merle suddenly stopped for some reason and walked ahead of Hitomi. Hitomi looked ahead of her and realized that they had stopped infront of Van. Hitomi noted to herself that Merle had changed too, the old Merle would've ran to Van yelling "Van-sama" and hugged him tight. The 'new' Merle seemed more reserved and graceful but, still maintained a sense of playfulness around her.   
"Van why didn't you tell me that Allen and Princess Eries are getting married" Hitomi asked in chiding voice. Van smiled and calmly replied,   
"It seems to have slipped my mind." He thought for a moment then he asked,   
"Would you like to go?" Hitomi crossed her arms infront of her chest and smirked.   
"I thought you would never ask." she replied, her eyes then took on a dangerous glint that Van seemed on aware of until she asked,   
"Will we see Celena?" He took at her and glanced into her eyes then back at Merle, who it seemed to have disappear. Van exhaled in a distressed sort of way and muttered under his breath,   
"She would have found out eventually".   
"Merle told me a little bit but, I curious when did the assassin come?" she asked with a slight frown. The music then ended in the background the conductor gave his band a moments rest while women and men scurried around, trying to find their next partner. A few brave women ventured to Van and curtsied and asked if he would dance. Van looked mournfully over to Hitomi while she just shrugged and said,   
"We can always talk about this later, a Ball is not the proper place for this type of conversation." Van opened his mouth to say something but Hitomi quickly interrupted him,   
"I won't be able to dance so you might as well dance with someone who can. I'll talk to you later, ne?" With that Hitomi waved good-bye as the girl dragged Van off onto the floor. Hitomi looked to a guard who stood beside her and asked,   
"Where are the garden's, or at least where I might be able to get some air?" The guard pointed off to the other side of the ballroom where giant windows looked out upon a beautiful garden and open small door opened to it.   
"Arigato" she said as she wheeled off towards the gardens. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Unexpected News

Mixed Emotions   
by,   
Ash C.   
e-mail- ash1107@hotmail.com   
please no flames or spams   


Chapter 2: 

A cool breeze swept by Hitomi's face as she silently wheeled through the lonely gardens. There were huge bushes on either side of her and faint sounds of a water fountain. The garden smelled of roses and the crisp Autumn air. She wondered to herself if Gaea had similar seasons to Earth but, decided not to pursue the topic.   
What was with me? she wondered, why did I talk that way to Van? The guilt weighed heavily on her mind and she frowned with disgust. She overheard some whispering from the bushes behind her and she leaned closer to hear what they were saying.   
"Miri, did you hear?" a velvety female voice asked. Another voice, also female but kind of high pitched answered,   
"what?". The other voice hushed slightly.   
"I heard that by King Van was going to propose to someone" she answered.   
"Who?' the other voice asked excitedly. Hitomi's breath shortened.   
"Some stranger, I heard she was royalty of some sort...real pretty"   
So, Hitomi thought, he's been nice to me because he doesn't want to hurt me, he doesn't want me to know. Hitomi felt like crying but, she gathered all her courage and what remained of her self-esteem and looked down at her hands, keeping everything inside of herself. Then suddenly everything became much clearer, so that's why he stopped being in my dreams. That's why, he didn't care he didn't love me...he wants to get me healed quickly so I go back to Earth and out of this life. I wonder what other secrets he's hiding... Hitomi then gazed up at the stars and then at the two planets which hung silently in the Autumn sky. "Mom" she silently whispered "what do I do now?" and a lone tear slid down her face. 

Van looked around the remaining guests but, no sign of Hitomi. A heavy thought weighed on his mind. His council had been very insisting lately about him marrying soon. But, he always told them he was waiting for his Princess to return to him. A few people knew what he was talking about. After Hitomi left he would secretly confide in Merle that since the only way he could marry Hitomi without his status being called to question would be to call her the "Princess" of the Mystic Moon. Only Merle knew but, a few advisors guessed it because they knew Van loved Hitomi. Van had been very lucky with having a council that hold off for so long but, they were getting agitated and almost unbearably insistent about getting a heir soon. Van tried to push the thought out of his mind temporarily and concentrate on finding Hitomi. 

Van peered outside the door into the gardens and silently chuckled to himself when he saw Hitomi asleep in the small chair. He walked through the doors and into the cold night he could see Hitomi shivering every time the cool wind blew. Gently he gathered her up into his arms and held her tightly against his chest, almost as if protecting her from the cruel night. Leaving the chair where it was he made his long journey through the castle to Hitomi's suite and gently laid her down in the soft bed. She stirred a bit when he put her down but, immediately got quite. He then, almost unconsciously, made his way to his room and immediately fell asleep once his head touched the pillow. 

Van impatiently walked back and forth in the darkened hallway outside of Hitomi's room. Nonchalantly sitting down was Merle watching with obvious amusement. "Van-sama" she chided " Van-sama, what are you so nervous about...she's not going to die or anything..."   
Merle waited a few moments... "mreow...Van-sama...stop it..." she pleaded in an exasperated tone. The door softly creaked open and a stout man with a few gray wisps of hair walked out. Van stopped and looked out him, "Your Majesty if you could come here for a moment?" the man asked in a deep baritone voice. Van walked over to the man while he closed the door to Hitomi's room.   
"Majesty, she didn't exactly break her back...." the doctor started hesitantly...   
"And?..." Van prompted. "Well, your Majesty she'd have to go through immediate surgery...this has been healed before but," he hesitated " I'm afraid that I have grown too old to be able to do such a precise operation. Maybe I can I find a younger doctor that will the job just as well..."   
Van made a gesture, "It's okay...I know someone who could do it."   
The Doctor peered at Van in puzzlement, "Who...If I might ask. your majesty?"   
Van smiled and put his hand on the doorknob, " why Queen Milierna". 

Hitomi was slowly drowning in her despair...all her life her hobbies had always involved running, Track team in high school...then she even made it into a very famous American Jock college on a athletic scholarship, UCLA. Now, everything was over. She couldn't run, or use her legs for that matter. She was now dependent someone for everything, instead of being the spirited independent person she once was. Then, to make matters worse the only man she had ever truly loved, didn't love her. He just wanted to get her out of the way as soon as possible. Hitomi moved her head to look outside through the windows next to her bed and watched the doves flying outside of her window...flying with white feathers... 

Van peered inside the Hitomi's room for a moment and glanced at her sorrowful figure in the bed. A once proud woman had now resolved to a few shreds of pride. Van had to do something but, the very air around her was almost becoming stagnant. Whatever he had to do he would have to do it quickly. 

The window of the carriage showed Hitomi the wonderful countryside of Fanelia but unfortunately gave her motion sickness. She sickly swayed back and forth while her face continued to get greener and greener. Van decided that they, Merle, Hitomi, and himself, should all go to Allen and Eries wedding in a carriage. Hitomi agreed to it only for Van's sake though... Hitomi tore her eyes away from the plain landscape of grass....grass....tree...grass...grass...tree... and focused on the inhabitants of the wagon. Van was sitting across from her his eyes were closed with a pensive expression on his face and Merle was engrossed in a small string, she loop it around her thumb and various other fingers and try to make designs. Hitomi was tempted to mention the fact that what Merle was doing was called "Cat's Cradle" but, it would probably get too complicated from there. 

Hitomi's eyes fluttered open and Hitomi gazed once more out of the carriage window... hoping she'd see something other the usual landscape of grass and tree. Her eyes blinked away the sleep and she focused on the new scenery, Millerna and Dryden's castle were in the distance and past them was the ocean.. Hitomi's leaned forward a bit to smell the salty air.   
'So many memories...' Hitomi thought to herself. She gazed down at the carriage floor and thought about the time she had been kidnapped by the geckos, and Van came to rescue her. Then Hitomi blushed to herself, she yelled "Allen" when in fact it was Van who saved her.   
"Mreow... Hitomi-san... are you blushing?!" Merle asked in a taunting voice. Hitomi's head jerked back and she blinked a few times.   
"nani... er, nothing Merle.. I was just thinking.." Hitomi nervously replied. Merle nudged Van and whispered loudly,   
"Van-sama, Hitomi's blushing, I bet she's thinking about something dirty..."   
Hitomi and Van's eyes opened wide for a moment and Hitomi let out a nervous laugh, and scratched her head.   
"No, I wasn't thinking of anything like that... no...it was something else, It was just memories I guess" Hitomi tried to explain while her face continued to get redder by the minute. Van chuckled quietly as Hitomi almost managed to get as red as his favorite 'red' tunic. Merle whispered again,   
"It most of been really dirty Van-sama! Look how red she's getting! mreow!" Merle started laughing hysterically. Along with Van who, by now had progressed to a full-fledged laugh and Hitomi nervously laughed among for no apparent reason. By the time they pulled into the kingdom Merle was on the floor wiping away the tears along with Van who wiped the tips of his eyes.   
One of the guards walked up to the carriage door and with great ease open the door. Merle hopped out and ran around a bit to stretch her tired muscles. Van also got out and stretched a bit before going half-way back into the carriage to get Hitomi. She gingerly reached out to his warm embrace and he gently lifted her off the seat. Off in the distance they could hear the hoof beats of horses coming and Hitomi looked toward the sound. 

A young woman in her mid twenties came to greet them. She looked like Millerna, the same hair, body, except, this was a woman who was heavily pregnant. A man about 5-10 years older her galloped to catch up with her, he too resembled the same Dryden that Hitomi remembered except he had a extremely pensive expression. Millerna halted her horse in front of Van, Hitomi, and Merle. Van chuckled a little bit,   
"Millerna isn't it a bit unsafe to horse riding this late in your pregnancy?"   
Millerna rolled her eyes and frowned.   
"Not you too!" she said in a exasperated tone "First Dryden, next the entire council, and now you!" Millerna looked at Hitomi,   
"Hitomi-san it's so nice to see you again!" Millerna said quickly then changed the topic, "do you think I'm too pregnant to go horse back riding?"   
Hitomi glanced around for a moment before answering.   
"um, well I guess it's up to you to actually know if you're able to or not"   
Millerna glanced at her husband and Van triumphantly.   
"See!" Millerna said, "I'm not the only one who thinks that way!" Millerna smiled and winked at Hitomi.   
"You tell those men Hitomi-san, they don't know what they're talking about!"   
Hitomi giggled and the two men rolled their eyes.   
"Okay, girls, lets get to your castle before someone actually does hurt themselves" Dryden replied in a sarcastic voice. 

The castle was bustling with the preparations for Allan and Eries' wedding. There was a absolute mess in the ballroom but, the servants were acting as quick they could. They passed through halls Hitomi remembered so well and into the guestroom Hitomi guessed she stayed in last time. Except there was an extra bed. Van set Hitomi down on a bed that was right beside Merle's. Hitomi looked and playfully pouted,   
"Van?" she asked "why do I have to stay in the same room with her?!"   
Merle looked up at Van from her unpacking,   
" Yeah" she said in agreement " Why do I have to stay with the weirdo?"   
Hitomi glared at Merle. Merle looked pleadingly at Van while asking in a dramatic voice. "Van-sama, what if she has some more of those weird visions?"   
Van rolled his eyes and said,   
"You two will figure it out" and with that he started to walk out of the room. Behind Hitomi and Merle said in unison,   
"But Van(-sama)?!" Van stopped for a moment smirked and went on. In the room he could hear Hitomi and Merle arguing.   
"Why did you do that?"   
"I didn't do anything!!"   
"Yeah you did, If it weren't for that stupid comment he'd still be here"   
" blah, blah, blah"   
"oh yeah? well I ought to just come over there and pull that little cat tail!"   
"Just try it..." 

"I'm 7 months pregnant and you want me to do what?!" asked Millerna in a dangerously high voice. Van looked around for a moment, in hopes he could get himself out of the awkward situation but, no escape.   
"Millerna-san" he pleaded, "you don't know what she's going through, she needs this operation!"   
Millerna sat down for a moment, then looked up at him with tired eyes.   
"What is it you want me to do again?" she asked.   
Van stood in front of her and said,   
" Just operate on her, she needs to walk again!" Millerna thought for a minute or so.   
"Okay" she said reluctantly, "I'll do it tomorrow morning, but, I need tonight to refresh myself on my studies."   
Van nearly jumped for joy when she agreed. "Thank you Millerna" he said then walked quickly out the door.   
  
  
  



	3. New Hopes

Mixed Emotions   
by,   
Ash C.   
e-mail- ash1107@hotmail.com   
please no flames or spams   


**Chapter 3**

Hitomi woke up and blinked a few times then squinted in against the bright light.   
"....?!!...." she thought. She heard a voice say,   
"Hitomi, it's all right dear just go back to sleep.." then someone put a oxygen mask shaped thing on her mouth. Her body tingled all of the sudden and then her world went black... 

* * *

Hitomi woke up again this time in her bed. She slowly leaned up, in the back of her mind she knew something was different... she just couldn't place her finger on it. She stretched her upper body then her legs. She sighed and murmured,   
" Ahh, that feels good....." Suddenly it dawned upon her... she faintly wiggled her toes.   
"Oh my god!" she spoke aloud. Suddenly Van and Merle burst into the room asking in a frantic tone what was wrong and if she was all right. Hitomi, trembling reached out for Van's hand. He gently took hold and squeezed reassuringly.   
"My legs" she said in awe "I can actually feel my legs!" She tried to get out of bed but, Van held her back.   
"No" he said while restraining her, "you might not heal properly. Wait a few more days then we'll try to get you on your feet" he smiled.   


* * *

  
A hooded figure stood in the shade of the Austrian castle, not wanting to be seen. Softly it spoke aloud, whispering to itself.   
"Van.." the person said almost longingly, letting the name linger on it's tongue.   
"You seem so... happy..."the figure chuckled, "we'll that's just too bad..." A smile crept a across the figures lips.   
"I'm sure I could make the situation better..." the figure's smiled held for a second then was replaced by a scowl of complete contempt.   
"You will pay for what you've done to me. You've shamed me for the last time... Van Fanel!"   


* * *

  
Hitomi felt dirty, no, that isn't the right words I guess.... she thought to herself. I feel more... grimy, um, covered in a thickening layer of sweat. Hitomi cringed her nose and sat up.   
"I want to take a shower!" she declared to no one in particular. Slowly she stood up using a near by table for support and walked into the bathroom also using furniture and other nearby objects for support. She turned on the water and waited for the shower nozzle to sputter for a moment then spray the water. She slipped underneath and sighed in relief as the water seemed to wash away all the dirt, troubles, and pain. She thought of staying in the water forever, but, alas her perfect moment was cut short and Hitomi cut off the water and dried herself off. Hitomi then slipped on a robe and walked out the door. Merle greeted her with a stare.   
"Van-sama's not going to like to hear that you've been moving around without the help of other people!" Merle taunted.   
"Let him" Hitomi said simply, not wanting to start a fight with the childish cat girl. Hitomi opened a closet door a few feet away and took out some clothes, then staggered her way back to the bathroom and got changed. After a moment or so she came out, fully dressed and tottered back to her bed. Merle eyed her for a moment then commented,   
"finally I can breath... you have no idea how bad you stunk..." Hitomi's eyes widened and she retorted,   
" It's too bad you shed, honestly you'd think an animal sleeps in that bed!" Merle glowered at her then picked up one of her pillows and threw it Hitomi. The pillow flew through the air then land *smack* in Hitomi's face. Her eyes were wide in surprise, then she picked up her pillow and threw the one that Merle had a early tossed at her then threw another in attempts of a surprise attack. Merle ducked the first one but, was caught off guard with the second. The first pillow flew promptly across the room and clean out the window. For a moment there room was silent and then a high scream was heard followed by loud group of people talking. Merle scampered to the edge of the window, peered out it for a second then giggled. Hitomi, on the edge of her seat, whispered, afraid of being heard, "what... happened?" Merle walked over to Hitomi and sat beside her.   
"Well" Merle began "it just so happens that the moment that you decided to through that pillow out the window, one of the nobles decided to pull up in a carriage..." then she paused, "and the pillow just so happen to land on the top of the carriage. It created a giant hole and scared one of the ladies into fainting" Hitomi listened with wide eyes, and whispered a occasional "oh my gosh" under her breath. Softly she stood up and walked across the floor to the window. Then carefully leaned out the window, enough to see the damage that the simple pillow fight had done.   
"Shit" Hitomi muttered, "We'll never hear the end of this!" 

Hitomi walked through the castle silently sticking close to the walls for stealth and support. She had wanted to go outside for sometime now but she had usually been tiring fairly quickly. Luckily on her way through the castle she only passed a sparse number of nobles and even fewer guards. So that meant a easy escape for her. Hitomi walked outside and into the courtyard and stood next a giant bush/like wall. Closing her eyes she looked up to the sky and reveled in the feel of the breeze and sunlight. Suddenly a hand went over her mouth and pulled into the shrubbery behind her. Then everything went dark. 

Merle walked into the room Hitomi and she was sharing.   
"Hitomi-san, you wanna...?" Merle stopped short when she noticed Hitomi was obliviously not there.   
"Hitomi?" she called franticly and scurried around the room. 

* * *

  
Van charged and brought his sword up into a crescent arch, disarming the other man of his sword. Then sword flew out of the man's hands. Both men stopped and warily eyed each other. Van stuck out his hand and the other man shook it,   
"good match" they both said in unison. Another man stepped out of the shadows, clapping,   
"Van-sama, you've improved a lot since the war." Van tensed up at the sound of his voice, Allen's voice. Allen had always been a rival for him when during the war. He always seemed better at the sword and more successful with women. Not that Van was complaining though, Hitomi had the choice between him and Allen and she had obvious choose him.   
"Thanks, you too" Van said in a low uncertain type voice.   
Then he heard a noise like a pattering of feet, and then he heard   
"Van-sama! Van-sama" He quickly turned around and saw that Merle was running to him at full speed. Then she stopped in front of his feet,   
"Van-sama" she wheezed " Hitomi's…. Hitomi's gone!"   
Van's eyes widened in surprise,   
"Gone.. Gone?" he stuttered 

* * *

  
Hitomi opened her eyes slowly; she took a moment to familiarize herself with her surroundings. She was in a dark room and there was a faint light to the corner of her eye. She turned her head a bit in attempts to get a look at the light but something was keeping her head from turning, actually something was keeping her whole body from moving. Hitomi tried to lift up her arms but a cool leather strap kept them firmly in place. Then she did the same with her legs but they were also strapped down. That's when she realized she was in a chair of some sorts. The air around her was moldy, humid, and wet, like she was in some underground place. Her clothes were already starting to stick to her body, and become tight, making her body feel sticky. Faintly Hitomi began to hear a noise, like someone walking down a hall outside the room toward her. Her pulse started to race and her mouth went dry, she writhed frantically in chair, hoping she could get out before her captor came back. The footsteps were getting closer, and closer then suddenly, they stopped. Hitomi lay as silently as she could, holding her breath, counting the seconds as she waited, for something to happen. She could hear faint breath to her right then a voice spoke,   
"Hitomi, the dragon's love interest…" it was clearly masculine voice, with a faint hint of insanity. Hitomi's eyes widened, she new that voice, it was critically familiar.   
"Dilandau…?" Hitomi whispered even unsure herself.   
"Aww, you had to guess right away didn't you? Oh well, at least you know what name to scream when the time comes…."   
"What?!"   
A feather light touch caressed her cheek and continued down her face, neck, and stopped on her blouse, in the middle of the chest area. Her breath was becoming fast and her heart was beating frantically in her chest. The touch eventually enlarged to two hands as she felt each button being undone.   
Then Hitomi screamed.   
  


Hello Outside world!!   
Well do you like it? I've gotten lots of e-mails lately asking for this chapter! I'm sooo happy! It's actually really nice to know people are reading this! So aside from that I've got some buisness to attend to   
First of all (this stuff mainly pertains to the last part)

  * Hitomi is in a dentist like chair, just minus the comfy cushins!
  * I will not write Hentai fics so don't expect me to create tons of imagery in the next chapter on what does happen to Hitomi. I also will not write about sex, I will only _imply _ it. But don't get your hopes up on Van and Hitomi hoping into bed any time soon. ;^ . ^

All right, that's it!   
Thanks for reading!


	4. Defiled Innocence

Mixed Emotions   
by,   
Ash C.   
e-mail- ash1107@hotmail.com   
please no flames or spams   
  
**Chapter 4**

Dilandau walked away from Hitomi's trembling form. Her eyes were dilated and wide open, almost as if she was in a state of shock. He walked over to a small table that was faintly lighted with a kerosene lamp. Picking up a small towel, he wiped his sweaty brow and smiled. All was going according to plan and soon, very soon he would have to put the next part in action. He glanced back at Hitomi's wretched form, her fingers were slightly twitching, her mouth agape, and she slowly blinked. Ah, so there was still some life in her yet…   


* * *

Hitomi was engulfed in a world of darkness, while trying to shut out the terrible things being done to her she created a mental wall. Some place to block out all the hurt. Finally she could rest, nothing could ever hurt her anymore, she was so tired. Closing her eyes she let herself fall into the nothingness. A pitch-black sanctuary. She waited for the darkness to totally take her but something held her back. She couldn't figure it out so she re-evaluated everything. Earth, the beautiful planet that hangs in the sky next to the moon. I was born there and all my ties restrict me from fully loving Gaia. I miss Yukari, Amano, and my parents. She paused expecting to cry, or something… but nothing happened. This puzzled her. Gaia, the mysterious planet of my youth, everything here is so primitive yet advanced. I can't help but think what did we miss? Why? The question lingered but held no tie. Van… A sharp blast of truth hit her and finally for once she saw clearly, past her own self-pity… I still love him so much… and if I left, again, I would cause him so much pain. I still see the question in his eyes. Those crimson eyes, blood red from the innocence, the beautiful innocence we lost in the war. The question that lingers on the tip of his tongue everyday. But, I can, no, could never answer it because I still don't know why. If she wasn't in her mind a tear would have fallen but, the knowledge stung and scorched her. Hitomi looked ahead, finally she knew her mission. She had to find a reason to live. Hesitantly she broke down the walls and returned to her body. Hitomi blinked a few times then trembled. She felt wrong. Dilandau did something no man should've ever done to her. He wronged her in the worst way possible. The memories flooded back, she let out a stiff sob, and thought about her mom.   


* * *

  
Dilandau waited till Hitomi fell asleep before moving her into a carriage that would take her back to Austria. 

* * *

  
Van paced around his room he was very worried about Hitomi. Merle sat on his bed quietly, watching him pace back and forth. Van felt horrible Hitomi was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. No evidence of where she could of gone and the place grounds had been searched many times over. Anger and rage seized him and he walked over to the wall and hit it, venting out all of his frustrations. The impact vibrated through his bones, and he let out a strangled sob and collapsed to the floor. Merle cautiously walked across the room and put an arm around him and leaned against him, as if to say "I'm here". Van remained impassive; he hung his head in despair. Why can't my wishes come true? I just wanted a happy life with Hitomi.., why aren't we able to live peacefully together. I could face Zaibach's giant army again without fear if she was at my side. I need her so much, she completes me…   
A light sound of someone rapping on the door drew him out of his misery. Wearily he walked to the door and opened, Merle still at his side. 

"What?" he sighed to the man servant outside the door.   
"Queen Millerna requires your immediate presence, I believe Lady Hitomi has returned…" the Man servant looked down at the floor while talking. 

Van's attention perked up at that and he burst out the door nearly pushing down the servant. A faint patter behind him told him that Merle was following. Down the corridors he ran till he reached the great hall. Millerna stood near a door and beckoned for him, her face entirely passive and serious. Van looked at her, anxiety, and worry showed in his face. Millerna recognized these emotions immediately and smiled a sad, pity type smile. Van anxiously asked, 

"Millerna is she, I mean is Hitomi here?" 

Millerna thought for a moment before answering, she didn't want to be the one responsible for the young King's rage. "Van, it was assumed that she was kidnapped and we still have no clues or leads who could have done it." 

"This I already know" he said impatiently 

"But!…she is here being taken care of our doctor's" 

"what? What happened?!" 

Millerna knew this was coming, the question she dreaded, she could never deliver this news to him. Nervously she answered,   
"Van, we believe she was raped"   


* * *

Hitomi woke to a semi-familiar world. Bright light shone through the window next to her. Her body was still sore from all the bruises, but one question remained in her mind,   
"How did I escape that horrible place alive?" She lingered on the question for a while then pushed it out her mind. The whole thought of the nightmarish place made her trembled. The door directly across from her bed silently swung open and Millerna walked in.   
"Hitomi" she said cautiously.   
Hitomi looked up into the older woman's eyes. They were filled with worry. "Yes?" she answered raspily… her voice still hoarse from the screaming… oh the screaming… Hitomi started trembling once again, she gripped tightly to the fine sheets. 

"Hitomi, dear, are you all right?" Millerna asked, sitting down on a corner of the bed and laid hand on her shaking hands. 

"he did such terrible things and whispered his horrible secrets in my ear… each one worse than the next. He did things no one should have ever done to me…" Hitomi started to shudder and tears ran down her face. Millerna leaned over and embraced her. Making soothing noises in attempts to calm the young woman's raw nerves. 

Finally when she was done crying Millerna's face went pensive,   
"I know this might be too soon but, I have to ask. Van's outside waiting…" 

Hitomi's eyes opened wide in horror, how could she ever face another man, let alone Van. 

"…He's been worried sick. Do think you are ready to talk to him?" 

"No, I want him to see me like this. I don't think I can ever face him again…he's never going to love me…" Hitomi's voice started raising by pitch and then into hysteric's almost. 

"All right, but, I think he loves you more than you can imagine… I wish you'd give him a chance…" 

"no, after what that thing did to me…" Hitomi broke off and turned around and cried into her pillow. 

Millerna watched from the other side of the room and silently opened the door. A strangled cry was heard from the other end of the room, 

"Please…don't leave me alone…" Millerna's heart nearly tore from her body at Hitomi's statement. Millerna knew she couldn't stay, so she looked outside the room. Merle sat next to Van, quietly.. 

"Merle, can you come inside? Just stay with her, she needs a friend…" Millerna said quietly. The cat-girl obediently came into the room and sat on the side of Hitomi's bed.   


* * *

  
The castle was quiet and not soul was awake, except Van. He was standing up and leaning against the door frame to Hitomi's chambers. Gingerly he pressed his ear up to the door, listening to hear if someone was awake. Nothing, he stood back and creaked the door open at bit, to look inside and see how the girls were doing. Obviously he was very worried and nobody told him of any recent developments. First, he saw Merle, curled up into a tight ball on the end of Hitomi's bed. But, she wasn't in her bed. Stepping into the doorway he glanced to either side of the room. She was standing outside the window on the balcony, gazing at the sky, dressed in a simple night shift that fell down to her knees. And, for some reason it didn't suprise him that he'd find her there. Walking to the window, he moved slowly and quietly, so he wouldn't wake up Merle. When he reached the balcony he stopped at the window's door-frame and slightly leaned against it.   
"Hitomi?" he asked, nearly whispered. Her eyes opened wide with fright and she cringed, imitating a deer caught in the headlights. She took a step back and away from him. Suddenly caught in a uncomfortable situation he fidgeted and asked,   
"...er,... what are you thinking about" 

Hitomi looked at him for a moment and then took a long took back at the sky.   
"I was thinking about home, I think maybe I should go back..." 

Van wasn't suprised, yet again...somehow he knew this was coming but he had to ask,   
"why" 

Hitomi looked back at him, her eyes beautiful and yet terrible under the moon's glow. "You know. You've always known. My stay always hinders you and everyone else. I feel guilty about it. Your always able to accomplish greater things when I'm not around." 

Van looked down, ran a hand through his hair and stated   
"That's not true, you never hinder me... they only time you ever hinder me is when your not around. I'm so busy thinking about you it seems I can never get anything done." 

Hitomi looked like she was about to cry, then she walked over to the edge and looked down. Van looked at her and knew, that if he didn't do something, she would jump. Taking a small box out of his pocket he walked over to Hitomi and knelt down on one knee. Her eyes gazed at him curiously for once and he smiled, despite the seriousness of the situation.   
"Will you, Hitomi Kanazaki, marry me and be my queen?" his voice trembled at bit as he opened the small box to reveal a simple ring with a diamond in the middle and chips off the red stone of Escaflowne. 

Hitomi's mind was racing, Van just proposed to her!!   
"What about that other girl?" she asked in an unsteady voice. 

"What other girl?" Van asked "there is no other girl" 

Hitomi sighed in relief, so the woman she had previously heard talking...it was all gossip.   
"Yes" she whispered almost unsure of herself and she held out her trembling right hand to Van. He slipped the ring on her hand, his hand equally trembling. A wave of relief swept over her and she leaned over and hugged Van, for once something good had happened in her life. 


	5. When Cat's go a' Courting

** Chapter 5 part a:**   
**When Cats go a courting**

A few weeks had passed since Eries and Allen's wedding and the 2 were still on their honeymoon. Van, Hitomi and Merle had all safely returned to the Fanelia unscathed and with no sign of Dilandau.

Hitomi's was nervous, really nervous, getting that kinda feeling when you stand up in front of class with a report you only half finished. Today was the day Van was going to announce their engagement to all of Fanelia officially. Hitomi's maids had picked out a beautiful ivory colored dress with gold ribbons but looking the part of the future Queen of Fanelia was half the torture. Hitomi nervously played with her engagement ring. Still awed and touched by it she smiled and knew some how everything would turn out all right. Hitomi looked toward the doorway where soon she'd walk through and the people of Fanelia would meet their new soon-to-be queen. She heard Van talking then suddenly the crowd cheered, the doorway opened and Hitomi started walking forward. Wishing she was able to run the other way but, she just put one foot in front of the other. Soon she would be standing next to Van, that's all that mattered but, what happened from there was another story.

Merle stood among the crowd and watched Hitomi make her entrance and meet the people of Fanelia. When she finally came out the crowd cheered enthusiastically not only because their King was about to get married but, the King and Hitomi's relationship was so much like a fairy tale romance. Merle smiled and walked away, through the gates and to the forest. Merle wanted something more than being mere "cat person" that trailed along with Hitomi, Van, Allen and the rest of the people through the historic war. She wanted to live life on her own for once, and she knew Van-sama well enough that he would not approve. Merle slightly giggled because she knew her Van-sama well enough that within a fortnight a search party of his best trackers would be looking for her, but, they would never find her. By the time they got to her exact location her trail would be cold and the trackers would be forced to abandon their mission.   
Merle silently trekked through the woods for many nights and lived on the rations she had collected from the Palace kitchen. Opening her bag she took out a small biscuit and nibbled on it for a while and temporarily sub sided the constant gnawing in her stomach.

As morning's first rays peeked through the trees they awakened Merle. She was suddenly awake and she felt like she was close to her destination. She leaned over and stretched her legs. When she was done she gathered her few belonging and stood up. Suddenly her head felt dizzy and she leaned against a tree for support. Something big was about to happen, something that was going to change everything drastically. She just knew, it resonated deep in her bones and made her feel restless. Her tail twitched quickly and she started walking again as she had for the past week. The birds were unusually silent and that didn't help her nerves at all. Up in the distance she heard the familiar sounds of a town. She ran to the edge of town and hid herself behind a tree to see if it was friendly or not. Many towns since the great war had either sided with Fanelia, become enemies, or remain neutral. She was trying to peer into the town when a sudden tap on her shoulder made her jump, and bristle. Turning around to face her opponent she readied herself for an attack. Her nerves were shot and she felt like was about to stumble on to something big. When she saw her aggressor she nearly fell over with surprise. He was a cat man about her age and a whole head taller than her. He had tan fur/skin coloring and short black hair. When Merle looked into his bottom less silver eyes she felt her stomach drop and all her emotions welled up. She had finally taken the plunge off the cliff. Her vision swayed but, for some reason, she wasn't worried. Before the darkness engulfed her a lingering thought stayed on her mind, I just fell down a cliff, I should be loathing this, instead...I'm quite enjoying it.

Merle woke up and gazed at the ceiling for a bit. Where am I? she wondered. An older cat woman walked beside where she lay, the woman's eyes slowly passed over her.   
"Ahh, so the kitten is awake." she stated. Merle glared at the older woman.

"I'm not a kitten." she grumbled. The older cat woman stared at her,

"have you a tom (- name for a male cat)?" she asked.

Merle looked away, "no..." she whispered.

"Then you are still a kitten" the older cat woman said. Merle's eyes watered up.

"It's not fair..." she stuttered. "I've tried but, ..." The older cat woman walked by and put a sympathetic hand on Merle's shoulder.   
"Shh" she said "maybe you've been trying a little too hard." Merle looked up at her, the woman winked

"It seems you've got quite a respectable looking tom quite worried about you." Merle looked up at her in confusion. Then searched her memory, she faintly remembered another male cat with tan fur...

"Does he have tan fur?" she asked. The older cat woman stopped for a moment, her eyes widened in surprise,

"Ay, Kitten, that he does. He's been waiting for you ever since you fainted into his arms..." Merle looked down but, felt the blush creep up her face. She stood up,

"Um, I think I'll go thank him." she said quickly and peeked out the door.   
The man from her memory was sitting outside the small hut with his eyes closed leaning against a tree. This opportunity gave Merle a chance to look at him. He had a finely sculptured and had clean clothes. He smelled of pine needles and forest creeks and Merle nearly purred while smelling his scent. She softly crept closer, then suddenly his eyes opened. Merle stopped and held her body perfectly still, almost hoping she wouldn't be noticed. He had also equally tensed up but, then visibly relaxed when he saw her. He stood up in one graceful movement and then smiled. Merle's knees nearly turned to jelly when she saw him do this but kept her facial expression neutral. Her mind screamed why can he be doing this to me when we've just met? He walked no, flowed gracefully over to her with almost the skill of an acrobat.

"So the kitten is finally awake." He spoke. Merle immediately stood up straight and glared at him. Her tail lashing side to side.

"Why does everyone insist on calling me a kitten? I'm 18 years old! I passed that stage many years ago!" she turned her back to him and started pacing. The male cat man put a hand (paw?) on her shoulder and she stopped.

"I'm sorry, but the wise woman you've been staying with has been calling you that so I've assumed it was your nickname. Let me start this over, my name is Garr." Merle's tail stopped lashing and curled up in a friendly sort of way. Then she smiled and said

"Nice to meet you Garr, my name is Merle." she looked up in his eyes once more and her knees went weak. Merle started to fall, then Garr caught her and steadied her against himself. He looked at her under a critical eye,

"Should you be out of the sick bed so soon?" Merle nearly giggled, then hesitantly pulled herself away.

"I guess not..." she started walking back to the wise woman's home then turned back to Garr

"... thank you... " she murmured with gratitude then timidly added,   
"will I ever see you again?" Garr gave a deep throaty laugh.   
  
"of course, I'll be back to make sure the wise woman is treating you well"   
Then he turned his back to her and walked into the woods. Merle slowly turned back to the home. Walked into it and sat on the bed. The wise woman came over and eyed her.   
"Kitten" she said "you look like you found your soul mate" Merle looked at her in wonder.   
"Soul mate?" she asked.

~~~Hope ya'll liked the story! I've been noticing lately that there are rarely any stories that put Merle in the spotlight. And *trumpets sound* I'm am here to fix such a tremendous misfortune!! *crickets chirp* It's okay everyone don't all thank me at once... Oh well, on the next chapter!   



	6. When Cat's go a'Courting part B

** Chapter 5 part b:**   
**When Cats go a courting**

Merle looked at the old woman,   
"soul mates?" she asked. 

The woman looked at her for a moment in disbelief   
"kitten, you've never heard of soul mates? Didn't your parents inform you when you where just a mewling?" 

Merle bowed her head and looked at the ground and spoke softly,   
"I'm just an orphan, my parents left me and I grew up in Fanelia under the care of the royal family and Van-sama." 

The older woman's eyes visibly softened and she proceeded,   
"I'm sorry kitten, your loneliness must be great. I will tell you about soul mates in their place." 

Merle looked back up at the woman and blinked out her unshed tears. The older woman continued,   
"in the beginning of time everyone had one perfect counterpart their souls were connected to each other and were infinite. Everything was in perfect balance until the great evil had befallen and the souls were torn away from each other. So to this day there still one perfect match for each being and we are to find it." 

Merle contemplated this for a moment and then asked,   
"How do you know someone is your perfect match?" 

The older woman thought for a moment,   
"... if I remember correctly, for my husband was my soul mate until he passed on into the next life, when you first meet your soul mate you first realize you love this person in everyone way and can look past his every fault. Next, you will know when you first meet you will emotions will..." 

Merle interupted her with a glazed look in her eyes,   
"...soar, even though you have no wings. The music of your being will perfectly harmonize with your mate's though you have no past music experience..."   
Merle blinked and then she stopped. The older woman looked in her eyes,   
"kitten, you seem to have wisdom beyond your years. How has such insight come to you?   
Merle shook her head sadly,   
"...I don't know...they just came to me..." the older woman shrugged then quickly changed the subject. 

"Kitten, have any relatives here?" Merle shook her head. 

"Can you cook, sew, and house keep?" Merle slightly nodded. 

"Then come with me, I know just the place." 

The older woman took Merle by the paw and led her out of the home, and through the village. The village was bustling with cat people engaging in lively discussions, buying, selling, shopping and decorating. Merle pointed to the people, 

"Why are they doing that?" 

The older woman stopped, and pointed to some finished decorations,   
"Tomorrow they're celebrating the Day of the Predestined, of The Soul-mates day. When the forest is pitch black the bachelor toms and the bachelorette females will be placed in the forest a mile a part. There will be no sound and all soul mates are supposed to find each other."   
Merle smiled with a hopelessly romantic grin on her face. The older woman continued to lead her to a home. She knocked on the door and a cat-girl about Merle's age answered. 

"M'lady can I help you?" The older woman pushed Merle forward a bit. 

"This kitten was found in the forest, do you have room to let another bachelorette in?" 

The cat girl smiled,   
"of course we do." 

She reached and pulled Merle in. Merle bowed deeply to the older woman then respectfully gave her thanks. Then the older woman left the two girls together. The two girls faced each other, awkwardly for moment then the other broke the silence,   
"My name is Chent, and your name is?" 

"Merle" Merle replied in an even tone. 

Chent then moved away a bit then gestured for Merle to follow her. Merle followed. Chent continued talking, 

"How did you get here, where are you from?" 

"I'm from Fanelia, and I walked here. I guess I must've passed out or something in the forest because I woke up here..."   
Chent looked at her for a moment, then continued walking.   
"Did you say you were from Fanelia?"   
Merle nodded   
" Why did you leave?" 

Merle shrugged, "I don't know, I need to go out and experience life on my own and by myself..." 

Chent looked on "I know what you mean, but, to give up the favor and gifts of a King? That's got to take some real courage." 

Merle slightly nodded. 

The two girls walked into a simple room with a small bed in the corner and a window that looked out into the forest. Merle sighed, walked across the room and fell down onto the bed. Chent stood in the doorway and softly chuckled.   
"So, are you going to participate in the holiday tomorrow?" 

"I guess" Merle spoke "what have I got to lose?" 

Chent continued, "well if you are than I recommend to you be in the center of the village before sun down of tomorrow. Okay?" 

"Okay" Merle sighed and Chent left the room.   
The next day Merle left her village before than sun rose and walked a mile or so till reached a good spot to sit. She felt bad for leaving everyone, she didn't even say thank you. She felt especially bad for leaving Garr, she didn't know exactly why though. Absently she played with the nail file that was hanging from her necklace. Gazing at it she suddenly realized it had a strange stone that looked oddly like Hitomi's. 

"I wonder if I could communicate with her...." she thought. Gripping on to it tightly she concentrated on Hitomi. Suddenly she felt a strange connect with Hitomi form. 

"What?" she heard Hitomi say in her head. 

"This is Merle" the spoke/sent back 

"Mer...Merle?" Hitomi's voice sounded anxious "where are you. Van has nearly half the kingdom searching for you and the wedding's only a week away." 

"Only a week away, I thought it was a month... I better leave tomorrow, or else i won't get to your wedding on time..." Merle thought back, "oh, and tell Van-sama not to worry, and I'm sorry. " She then felt Hitomi's concentration went else where than returned to her. 

"Merle, he says it's okay. He... no we were just very worried about you....." her connection faltered a bit "oh, and he also says he'll try to talk to you later. Okay?" 

"Okay." Merle answered then let go of her nail file and broke the connection. She looked off into the sky and gazed at the setting sun.   
'Oh no... ' she thought , 'there's no way I can make it back in time...' She then stood up and started walking. " I might as well go back to Fanelia..." she spoke aloud. 

~~Er... sorry everyone. My mistake. This chapter was done about a month or so ago but, I kinda forgot about it. Oh well. Next chapter is the last one in this lil side trilogy. 


	7. When Cat's go a' Courting part C

**Chapter 5 part c:**   
**When Cats go a courting**

Merle looked ahead for a moment, slightly dismayed by that fact she couldn't participate in the festival but she needed to get her priorities in order. 'I should've been there with Lord Van and Hitomi' she chided to herself and continued on walking until nightfall. Long after the moon had risen high and the a chorus of crickets was the only noise besides her breathing. Merle had an odd feeling that she had left something important behind in the village but, she had her nail file and clothes... the only two items she'd been with the entire time she had been roaming.   
Off in the distance her cat eyes detected a large object moving around, moving silently she crept behind a tree and sized up the figure. A worthy opponent she thought, in the dark she could tell it was taller than her, but by how much she wasn't sure of exactly. It was well built and probably would beat her if it attacked and moved as silently as she did. Smiling to herself she knew her advantage. She was smaller therefore quicker and quieter, she smiled in spite of herself at this clever idea and snuck to the left, paying attention to the ground so she didn't step on twig or leaf. She held her breath when she passed by the figure and kept thinking in her head "you can't see me...you can't see me..." Successfully she passed by the creature and breathed a sigh in relief... a bit too audibly. The creature behind her heard the noise and came quickly in her direction. Cursing at herself for a moment she leapt forward and sprinted hoping that she was too fast for the creature. She weaved in and out of the trees zooming off in different directions. She heard the creature edge closer and closer and she frantically turned to the right and onto a straight drop down a canyon. Merle screamed and frantically turned around grabbing for the closet object. She claws raked the stone but, she started slipping down the side. All of a sudden something strong grabbed her wrist and pulled her forward. Merle felt herself being pulled up to level ground and looked behind her for a moment. At last she climbed onto the level ground and sat there for a moment, wiping away the tears from her eyes.   
A large hand was place on her shoulder and a deep voice asked,   
"Are you all right?"

Merle jerked up in surprise and turned around. It was weird, she knew it was going to be Garr, but no other clues than his voice was given to her. She quickly dismissed the thought and turned her attention on to him.

"y..yes..." she stuttered then her eyes narrowed, and her pupils became smaller, "what are you doing here?" she asked, almost in an accusing voice. He stepped back quickly at the sudden assault,

"hey, I was just making sure you were alright, could've died just now...you realize that right?" Garr said sarcastically

"well, I know who to thank, if it weren't for you chasing me I wouldn't of been that situation now would I?!" she retorted and turned her back to him, her tail dangerously lashing from side to side. After a few moments of silence she softly asked, "what were you doing here anyhow... isn't that festival thing tonight?" Garr looked aside and drew in a deep breath,

"well it was but, Chent told me you were out on a walk and you might not come back in enough time so I went looking for you. It wasn't dusk till I actually saw you but, then somehow I lost you until just now when you saw me and I ran after you trying to get your attention...and well you know the rest."

"So you missed the festival? I'm sorry..."

"I'm not" he said flatly

"what?" Merle asked in confusion, "I thought you probably would have wanted to go."

He shrugged and smiled, "It doesn't matter now. I tend to not linger on the past, sorry." His eyes stared straight into hers for a moment, their gazes were locked for a split second then broke. Coughing nervously he changed the subject,   
"so where you going?"

"back to Fanelia" Merle stated, "Lord Van and Hitomi's wedding is less than a week away so I have to move quickly"

"oh" he said quietly. A few more moments of awkward quiet passed, Merle was about to leave till, Garr spoke;

"you don't have a boyfriend do you?"

"What?!" Merle asked, completely thrown off by the question then answered, "um, no... why?"

"I was just curious" Garr said innocently "I might of been a problem if you had"   
Merle was getting impatient, Garr was making no sense and she simply had to find out why!

"what are you talking about?!!" she said exasperated.

His eyebrows knitted together studying her face for a moment,   
"you really don't know do you? Didn't Chent explain the rules?"

"Know what? Tell me??" she pleaded.

"okay, in the beginning of the festival both the girls and guys go into the forest at the same time but, eventually they lose sight of the opposite sex. Just like I lost sight of you around dusk. Then eventually everyone one gets lost from each other till your alone, just like you and I both were. Then, or as tradition explains, the next person of the opposite sex you see is your soul mate."   
Merle looked blankly off in the distance for a moment trying to make sense of what all had just happened.

"so I guess that makes us .s..soul mates?" she said softly.

"Is everything okay?" he softly asked.

"Yes and no," she explained, " yes because, I think I already knew that, ever since the first day I met you, something told me there was something special about you, and It just felt...right... being with you, like now." Merle looked up into his eyes, "But, I can't just stay here. I have to go back to Fanelia, I have to be at Lord Van's wedding..." she softly explained. Still smiling Garr reached down and held Merle's hand, "if you want to go to Fanelia that's fine with me, as long as I can go with you." Merle then threw herself into his embrace, and was content to just be with him right then.   
~   
Later on they found a large Oak tree, Garr sat down and leaned on it and Merle fell asleep against with his arm around her. When they woke up they started off for Fanelia.

~Sorry that the ending of this little side chapter is kinda abrupt but, I might write something later on about Merle's past! Hope you liked this!   
  


  
  
  



	8. The Wedding

**Chapter 6 "The Wedding"**

It was a day before the wedding and Hitomi was in a frantic rush to make everything just perfect. Though Van tried to assure her that his royal servants and committee's would take care of everything she just smiled and brushed everything aside. Just recently Merle contacted them and Van's mind was set at ease with the knowledge that Merle would make it...well, almost. Hitomi walked across her room and opened the door to her clothes closet and longingly gazed at her wedding dress. Wistfully she sighed and wished her mom could be there. It just wasn't the same with out family. She heard the soft click of the bedroom door closing and she whirled around closing the doors of the closet at the same time. Van stood the middle of the room with his arms folded over his chest and an eyebrow quirked in surprise. 

"Hi Van!" Hitomi greeted, "what are you doing here?" 

Van smiled and walked over to the closet and leaned against it, facing Hitomi.   
"What's in there?" he asked. 

"Oh nothing you needn't concern yourself with till tomorrow..." she explained playfully. 

"Your wedding dress?" he asked dubiously. 

"Yeah... but, you can't see it till tomorrow!" she quickly exclaimed as he tried to open the closet. 

"Who says?" he asked 

"Me, it's a tradition we have on Earth... you can't see the bride in her gown till the ceremony." she   
  
"Well we have a different tradition here," he explained with a straight face.   
"Oh really..." she commented sarcastically. Van walked closer and cupped her face in his hands. 

"Yes, really..." he breathed, and then lowering his face to hers he kissed her. After a moment they broke away and she smiled. 

"Well, Fanelian tradition or not, your not going to see the dress." Hitomi pouted and walked away, "and you're also going to give the bride some rest. It's almost tomorrow and I don't want to be yawning all day over lack of sleep." Van shrugged and walked away. 

"If you say so." he commented and walked to the door, "Good night, Hitomi."   
She walked over to meet him and gave him a quick peck on the lips, 

"Good night Van." she said cheerfully and he walked out. Changing fairly quickly into a long shirt that reached to her mid thighs, she went to bed. Then lying awake for a while her mind raced but then she giggled at the thought of their wedding night and the most attractive sleep ware that she had was a long t-shirt. But, then again everyone has strange fetishes, maybe a strange foreign t-shirt might turn Van on. Nahhh, she thought, dismissed the thought out of her mind and fell into a light sleep.   
  
...."?"...   
Hitomi bleary blinked the sleep from her eyes and arose to the sound of maid calling her.   
"I'm awake," she rasped, "what do you need?" 

"It's time to prepare for the wedding Milady," the maid said softly. 

Hitomi hopped out of bed and let the maids attend to her. 

  
The wedding room was filling up with many royal dignitaries from all over Gaea. Even Allen and Millerna where there, representing Austria, and supporting their long time friends. Van pulled sharply on his black gloves and peeked through the door to see who had arrived, many familiar faces were spotted but none of whom he cared to talk to at the moment. His apprehension was getting the better of him and the many layers of clothes his wedding outfit summed up to didn't help he felt like he was in a boiler room. He walked over to a near open window to look outside, catch or a cool breeze or, maybe to spot Merle. As if on cue she and another person where quickly walking up the road to the castle. Van squinted and made out the figures of a cat...man.   
...cat man?!... he thought and made note to antagonize, no question the cat man later of his true intentions. Suddenly one of the royal advisors tapped him on the shoulder.   
"Highness, your bride is ready...should we start the ceremony?" the advisor asked. 

Van smiled and said "yes". The advisor bowed and left. Van then walked back over to the door and wait for his cue to begin. 

Hitomi felt like a pincushion after her hair had been fixed in a Fanelian/Earth fashion. The maid braided a single braid along the top of her head, giving a head ban kind of look while where small white flowers that resembled baby's breath inside of it. The dress was long, white (by her request), and silky. The dress fit snuggly against her body and stretched out at the end to a 20-foot train. Just the thought of walking around in it baffled her but for Van she was willing to do anything. The procession of her, her maids, and bridesmaids (Millerna, and Celena, Merle hadn't arrived yet) started to leave the room when she stopped by her bed and quickly took out the pendent and put it around her neck. Walking up the hall to the Church where the ceremony would begin Merle appeared out of nowhere and joined the procession. Carefully Hitomi hugged her and smiled. 

"I'm so glad your here. I was worried you wouldn't make it in time." she chided. 

"Well Garr and I nearly ran the entire way here!" she exclaimed. 

"Garr?" Hitomi asked and smiled. 

Merle blushed and gave a small smile, "I'll introduce and explain to you later. You've got a wedding!" 

"True..." Hitomi answered then continued to walk. "Merle,...here...please hold this..." Hitomi handed Merle the wedding ring for later. Her knees where shaking and she wished she could have a more private wedding, but of course she had to marry a King! She giggled at her good fortune and stopped in front of the doors to the church. She took in a deep breath; the maids lifted the veil over her face. Merle gave a quick squeeze to Hitomi's white-gloved hand and walked in front of her. The doors opened and Hitomi looked down and prayed to whatever deity out there to give her strength. Music played softly in the background and the bride's maids started across the floor first. First Millerna, next Celena, and then lastly, the maid of honor, Merle. After they all reached the alter the music cue began and a maid softly whispered in her ear, "it's time." Hitomi walked in front of the doorway and faced the crowd; the entire room stood up and held their breath, truly amazed at how beautiful she was. Taking one foot she stepped forward and began her slow assent down the aisle. 

_Just one step at a time,___

_And your closer to destiny___

_I knew where to glance___

_There'll always be a chance for me___

_With someone I could live for___

_Nowhere else I'd rather be_

Hitomi stopped at the alter and joined her place beside Van. She glanced at him for a moment to see him utterly speechless, if it weren't for the intensity of the occasion she more than likely would've laughed but she's was too near weeping from joy to think about it. Van looked very handsome with his "kingly attire" he had black pants, a shiny silver breastplate (signifying he was also a soldier), and maroon colored cape with gold trim. Lastly his crown gave off a very commanding presence. Hitomi felt weak in the knee's just from looking at him, and wondered how other people saw him. The priest then proceeded to bless the two of them and then they turned to face each other. Hitomi and Van's eyes locked in on each other and neither of them heard anything that the priest was sawing till he paused for the vows. 

_Is your love strong enough?___

_Like a rock by the sea___

_Am I asking too much?___

_Is your love strong enough?_

Van look a simple golden ring from a servant next to him and slipped it onto Hitomi's finger. 

_Just one beat of your heart___

_And stranger the fantasy_

"With this ring I thee wed" he spoke clearly for the room to hear. Then he brushed his hand against hers while he took it away and chills ran down Hitomi's spine. The priest then spoke again and paused, Hitomi took the ring from Merle and held Van's hand. Then put the ring on his hand.__

_I knew from the start___

_There had to be a place for me_

"With this ring I thee wed" she spoke softly but loud enough for the room. It faintly echoed across the hall then stopped giving the impression of something final, and set in time. 

_Someone I could die for___

_There's no way I could ever leave_

"I now pronounce you husband and wife" the priest announced and the entire room held their breath as Van lifted Hitomi's veil, Hitomi noticed that his hands where slightly shaking and she smiled sweetly. The distance between them closed, he leaned over to her and they kissed. 

_Is your love strong enough?___

_Like a rock by the sea___

_Am I asking too much?___

_Is your love strong enough?_

The crowd burst into cheers, and sounds of women weeping were also faintly heard. Then they broke the kiss and turned around to face the crowd. Hitomi then noticed the crowd was once again pausing, waiting for something else to happen; Hitomi glanced over to Van in puzzlement. A small squire stood next to him holding something. Van leaned over and picked it up, then faced Hitomi. 

"Turn and face me" he breathed so only she could hear and she turned. In his hands he held a thin golden crown, lightly he placed it on her head, shifting it a little so it would balance. Finally they turned back to the crowd and Van slipped his arm around Hitomi's waist. 

"May I present, my wife and Queen of Fanelia, Hitomi Fanel."   
  



End file.
